The Legend of King Douchebag
by StormtrooperFumu
Summary: The brand of humor from "Halos in Space" now comes to South Park! Spelling and grammar mistakes were done on purpose for comedic effect.
1. Knights of the Triangle Table

King Douchebag and the Knights of the Triangle Table

King Douchebag wokeup to find taht he as captured by teh Elves Can, led by Kyle. Kyle demanded, "Douchebag, stop farting in peoples' faces, or else!" Bt King Douchebag would have none of it! And he ripped himself out of the ropes binding him to the wooden chair and he broke the chair over Kyle's head. After knocking Kyle out, King Douchebag grapped a rope and swung over the high walls to freedom! Anmd ehwn he droppd to the ground, he found Bebe was waiting as if she had stalked him to Kyle's Elve lair. Shw swooned, "I love a guy who talks through his actions," and she tried to kiss him. But Douchebag just starred blankly into sopace, as if her love was not returned. Bebe cried and she ranm away. That's when she bumped into Stan, who was comming to try and rescue King Douchebag - exxcept that King Douchebag was able to resue himself, thank you very mch! "Well Excuxe MEE, Princess!" And that was said by Stan to Princess Kenny, who was bumoping into Bebe. Poor Bebe, all she ever anted was for someone to love her without farting in her face.

Eric Cartman spawned on the scene, and he was screching, "DOUCHEBAG! WE NEED TO ASSEMLBE DEH KNIGHTS OF DUH TABLE!" King Douchebag made haste back to his red home, and eh scrambled to tr and find a suitable table, butr they were all smashed up from the alien invasion that left him with a big probe up his anus asshole. The best he could do was bring out a smashed coffee table that was split in half diagonally. This made it shaped like a triangle. Cartman grunted, "It'll do, Douchebag." Cartman hit the table with a judge's hammer and he said, "Calling the Knights of the Triangle TAble to order! Douchebag, what happened between you and that Jew?" Douchebag stared blankly. Butr Butters raised his hand and cried out while crying, "ALRM! King Douchebag was to stop farting on peoples' faces!" Cartman pinched his nose and says, "Don't fart on peoples' balls. Nothing was wever said about peoples' faces."

The court was in order, with King Douchebag, Eric Cartman, Prncess Kenny, Stan, Butters, soad some other kids who didn't have names. Evyone else did all teh talking, while King Douchebag just muncnedd on some tacos and burritoes, because he was preping for his masterfulf art magic. Yes, the art of farts, King Douchebag was a master. His powers could even destroy gialt bleem boulders bercause the explosive force of his butt whle was just too big and strong. Kyle the Jew stumbled in, and he was like, "Wait a minute! We joine forces after we beat Clyde out of space and time!" Cartman rolled his eyes and sayd, "All right, foine, cam join us you faggot Jew."

"Back on track," exclaimed Stan. "We nmeed to beat the evil sorcerer Schpetoths!" But it turned out that Schpetoths was already amopng them, as he was the transfer student from far away. And he was here doibng his evil tricks on all the kids! Everyone screamed, and Butters tried to hid tnder tne table. King Douchebag let down his pants and prepared to attack with fat farts. What really happened was that King Douchebag let out with diarrhea all over Schpetoths! A shocked look beefal King Douchebag, as if to say quietly, "I thought it would only be a fart!" But now that Schpetoths was coverdd in human feces, he burst s into lfames and died. The kids celebrated the triumphant return of King Douchebag!

Join us NEXT TIME, for the Sequel: King Douchebag and the Unholy Griddle!


	2. The Unholy Griddle

King Douchebag and the Unholy Griddle

AFter a shoefrtlive d celebration, King Douchebag rode off to downtown South Park. He was really hungry, and his diarrhea emptied hiw colon. But there was a great evil lurk9ing just below the food dens. Unawaware of the magics afoot, King Douchebag went for City Wok, and the man making a Chinese stereotype face sayd, "Herro Douchebeg. Here, free sample of shitty wok." King Douchebag took the sample, and ate it...then the stomach gurgled like it were upset at him. King Douchebag clutched his gut with both his hands, and fell to his nkess. Thata's when the Chinese stereotype man laughed an evil cacle and jumped onto the counter. "Silly fool," he conjured, "That was from the Unholy Griddle! And now your are cursed! Maniacal laugh!" King Douchebag threw up ahd passed out. Poor, poor sad Douchebag.

When Douchebag awoken from his slunmber, there were DEMONS! And they were dancing around a circle, chanting gibberisn and making goofy faces. Then, there were sirensd! And they were blaring loud air raid sounds. The DEMONS ran and screamed like little girls as a band of raiders pillaged the hellish landscape. But wait. There really *were* little girls screaming! But it was hallowing war cries like none other! When all the chaos was over, there was a mountain of red demon bodies and on top of them was one girl clad in purple armor. And when all was quiet, she thundered her powerful voice:

"Don't, F*CK, With, Wendy, Testaburger!"

She held her sword high to the sky as she gleaned a craazed sadistic lok in her eyes. She then flew down like a Valkyrie and struck the cage that imprisoned King Douchebag! She holared, "WE must stop the Unholy Griddle! Douchebag, it's time for you to STRIKE!" She gave King Douchebag her winged sword, and he ran right besie her to the next wave of DEMONS! The battle was long and drawn-out, with wave after wave of evil legions, endless did they seem.

After hours of pain and suffering, King Douchebag climbed to the ceiling of Hell, only to find that once he broke through the ceiling, it was merely the basement of City Wok. King Douchebag saw the Asian stereotype man cooking on the griddle. "OH, Herro Douchebag. No more samples; I have paying ccustomers now." Douchebag just glared into the stereotype man's eyes with a death glare that coule pierce solid steel. And then King Douchebag lunged up from the basement and shoved the blade of his sword right up the man's ass! And then King Douchebag slammed the stereotype man onto the Unholy Griddle, frying him and turning him into a shishkabob.

The DEMONS seemed pleased at the sacrifice, but before they could EAT the stereotype man, King Douchebag unplugged the Unholy Griddle, threw it into a bath tub full of water, and blew it up! In his hasty excitement, King Douchebag didn't notice one critical detail: there was a person in the bath tub. It was Kenny! Kenny BLEW UP!

"OH MY GOD!" Stan cried, "Douchebag killed Kenny!" Kyle screamed, "YOU BASTARD!"

Join us NEXT TIME, for the Sequel: King Douchebag and the Legendary Sword Ex-Call-Her-Butt.


End file.
